Warriors: Twoleg School
by DigitzzWhee
Summary: StarClan zaps Brackenpelt, Branchtail, Driftsong, Featherpaw, and Sunnypaw into a Twoleg school at a cat's badly worded request. So they decide to make the most of it.
1. Chapter 1

Sunnypaw blinked once. And twice. Where was she? She remembered it was the middle of leaf-bare. So why was it so _warm? _There were walls all around her and above her too, blocking out the sky! The sky-wall had a bunch of rectangular glowing things stuck to it. It was a Twoleg den!

She examined her immediate surroundings. She was sitting on a flattened pelt thingy that had some stuff in it. She hadn't noticed before, but next to her slept Brackenpelt, the Clan deputy; Driftsong, her mentor and the medicine cat; Featherpaw, her sister; and Branchtail, her sister's mentor. Gently she poked them in the side with her pale gray tail.

"Wuzzit?" Featherpaw mewed. She opened her eyes. "OH MY STARCLAN. WHAT THE FREAK IS THIS PLACE?" After the others had woken up, they reacted in similar ways.

"Calm down," Brackenpelt ordered. "From what I've heard, Twolegs become active a little before dawn. We need to find shelter!"

"Wait!" Branchtail mewed. "How did we get here in the first place?" The cats were silent. And then Driftsong timidly raised her tail.

"Yesterday I wished I could take Sunnypaw out of the territory to see how others live," Driftsong mewed. "Not seriously, but like, if it was safe to do that."

Featherpaw gasped. "StarClan has granted your wish!"

"I'm sure StarClan will help us get back when we are done here," Sunnypaw mewed. "For now let's just enjoy it. As an educational experience and stuff!"

"What's this?" Featherpaw showed Sunnypaw her find - a short blue stick. Branchtail came over to inspect.

"It looks like it might have something inside of it," he mewed, and Sunnypaw thought he might be right - the stick was slightly clear, like ice. Branchtail bit down hard on the stick thingy - and it snapped, spraying dark blue liquid all over his face. Branchtail spat out some of it. "Ew." Featherpaw snorted.

Sunnypaw spotted another strange object - a fat orangey stick. "Come look at this!" They came over to see.

"It looks like you can take the top of it off," Driftsong mewed, and did so - to reveal a pungent, purpley lump. "It smells a bit like herbs." Driftsong licked it, and then screeched.

"IT'S STICKY!" She shrieked. "WHY IS IT STICKY?!" She pawed the stick off of her tongue, but some of the purple lumpy stuff was on her tongue still.

"We need to get it off of her tongue," Sunnypaw decided. "Look for water!"

"I found something," Featherpaw reported. "This shiny ditch looks like maybe it could be a pool for water. If we mess with those things -" she pointed her tail at some silvery things at the edge of the pool - "we might make water appear!"

"Great idea!" Sunnypaw mewed. She pawed one of the silvery things, and then water came out of a silver tubey thing in between the other silvery things.

"It's like magic," Featherpaw breathed. "Where is it coming from?"

Driftsong hopped up to the pool thingy and took a drink, then rubbed her tongue against what looked like a piece of very thin bark. She drank again, then mewed, "That's better…"

Then a female Twoleg came into the den thing. "Quick - hide!" Brackenpelt hissed. They all dove under a flat slab thing held off the ground with big shiny sticks and hoped the Twoleg wouldn't notice them. The Twoleg ignored them and went to sit on a slab with a stick on it behind another stick-supported-slab. _These Twolegs are big fans of weird stick things, _Sunnypaw thought. Since the Twoleg seemed to be thoroughly focused on something resting on the slab, Sunnypaw began to creep out, and she noticed that the Twoleg had left the den entrance open. She slipped outside quitely with the others following her. Outside the door was a quiet tunnel with more den entrances on the sides. Featherpaw stepped ahead of Sunnypaw and confidently strode into another den.

Inside the den it was much like the other den, except there was not yet a Twoleg inside. The cats continued to browse the miscellaneous Twoleg things.

"Hey guys, I found a weird thing!" Brackenpelt mewed, which wasn't really saying much as they were practically surrounded by weird things. The others rushed to him. He had found what appeared to be a large white leaf thing.

Driftsong seemed to be thinking along these lines as well. "Maybe it's some kind of Twoleg herb!" Driftsong ripped off a piece of the leaf thing, chewed for a bit, then spat it out. "It doesn't have a taste! It tastes all dry!"

"I saw a Twoleg putting marks on one of these leaf things with a stick thing earlier," Branchtail mewed.

"I wonder why they would do that," Featherpaw wondered aloud. She looked around the den. "Hey, look! There's another one of those leaf things!"

"Yeah, they're _all over the place,_" Sunnypaw mewed, rolling her eyes.

"But this one has little blue lines on it and also a red line. And it also has _holes _in it!"

"Weird," Sunnypaw mewed.

"Twolegs are weird," Brackenpelt mewed matter-of-factly. "And crazy." All the cats nodded in agreement. Suddenly Sunnypaw heard a rumble like thunder outside the den entrance.

"What's going on?" Featherpaw mewed, slinking under a stick-supported-slab as if by reflex.

Sunnypaw peeked out of the den entrance with Featherpaw beside her and was horrified to see a ridiculous amount of Twoleg kits swarming the tunnel.


	2. Chapter 2

Featherpaw stared in horror at the Twoleg kits yowled at each other, storming the halls. _How can we possibly make the most of this? _She thought despairingly, praying that StarClan would zap them back to their camp soon.

"RUN!" Brackenpelt shrieked as the Twolegs started to come into the den they were in. Featherpaw and the others pelted after him as he bolted out of the den, down the tunnel, and into a den with a slightly larger entrance than the other dens. Featherpaw thanked StarClan that none of the Twolegs had stepped on her fluffy silver tail.

Inside the den there was a weird jaggedy hill that seemed to lead downward. "Let's go down," Sunnypaw suggested. At the bottom of the hill was another den entrance, which led to another tunnel with dens.

"Come on - let's try this one," Featherpaw mewed, picking a den. She cautiously padded inside - this den was different than the others. There were colorful things all over the den walls, and like the other dens, no shortage of stick-supported-slabs. Hopping onto a larger stick-supported-slab, she sniffed at a clear cylinder that held sticks with furry ends. _What if they take my fur too and put it on a stick? _Featherpaw shook her head. _No, that's ridiculous. Why do Twolegs have need for a furry stick? _She already knew the answer to that. _They're crazy. All Twolegs are crazy. _All Twolegs are crazy - that would be her new mantra.

In the den was also another shiny pool (which was empty), and on all of the larger stick-supported-slabs were clear cylinders with furry sticks in them. On a slab that was attached to the wall next to the shiny pool were more clear cylinders, but they were empty. And then on a slab structure thing were _even more _clear cylinders that had colored sticks in them. The sticks were organized in the cylinders by color. Sunnypaw seemed to have noticed them too, and hopped up to inspect, but knocked two of them over. Sunnypaw stared at the spilled sticks for a moment, then mewed, "I JUST HAD THE MOST DIABOLICAL IDEA."

"What?" Featherpaw prompted.

"We could mess everything up!" Sunnypaw mewed with glee. "It would be like payback for all the trouble that Twolegs give us." Her eyes gleamed with mischief.

"LET'S DO IT!" They all shrieked, and set about invoking chaos.


	3. Chapter 3

Sunnypaw joyfully kicked over the clear cylinders. Six different colors of sticks rolled everywhere. And THEN she went onto the stick-supported-slabs and knocked those cylinders over too. And then for good measure she went to the shiny pool and knocked the empty cylinders over too. _Whee! This is such fun! _Meanwhile Driftsong was shredding more of the white leaves, Branchtail had turned on the water in the shiny pool and was soaking the colorful wall things in it, Featherpaw was breaking tubes of some sort of thick, colorful liquid that smelled weird and spraying it everywhere, and Brackenpelt was supervising them all.

Sunnypaw hopped off of the slab structure and looked around. Surely there had to be something else to ruin? And then she spotted it - a tube thing like the ones Featherpaw was busily breaking open! She decided to join the fun. She broke the tube open and out came some green sludgy stuff. She flung the tube at one of the den walls and it splattered the wall with more green sludgy stuff.

But then a Twoleg came in. Sunnypaw swiftly scanned for a place to hide, but there was none near her. The Twoleg then saw the mess, and screamed. And then the Twoleg saw the cats. And then screamed more. _Mouse dung. We'd better get out of here! _The cats rushed out of the den and down the tunnel. Sunnypaw thought she might be able to scent outdoors, and then she realized there was a den entrance at the end of the tunnel, but it led outside… Her head spun. _Dens inside dens? Twolegs really are crazy! _She dashed out that way, and then her vision was engulfed in blackness.


	4. Chapter 4

Featherpaw opened her eyes. _Where is the Twolegplace? And the Thunderpath? _She lifted her head, and saw that she was laying in her nest in the apprentices' den. _That can't be right. I'm supposed to be in the Twolegplace._

Then she realized - StarClan had sent them back! She woke Sunnypaw. And Brackenpelt, Driftsong, and Branchtail. AND THEN THEY PARTIED AW YEAH!


	5. Epilogue

A dappled brown she-cat with a starry pelt sat by the crystal-clear pool. A growl rumbled in her throat. "What a mouse-brained idea." A tom watched her from the shadows. "Voleface, get your _stupid butt _over here!" The she-cat seemed to have noticed his presence. The tom padded out somewhat reluctantly to sit beside her.

The she-cat stood, stared at the pool for a moment, then swiftly rounded on Voleface. "You _stupid freaking idiot!_" She screeched at Voleface, who flinched, but seemed accepting of the way the she-cat was yelling at him, perhaps because he knew it had been coming.

"Driftsong - I thought -" Voleface spluttered. "Dappledleaf -"

"You should've thought at least a little bit before _zapping _our _warriors _into A TWOLEGPLACE!" Dappledleaf was furious. Voleface looked a bit afraid of her. "At least consult the rest of StarClan first. And do you really think Driftsong wanted that?"

"No." Voleface mewed. "But I thought-" Dappledleaf slapped him and chased him into the woods, yelling about how stupid he had been.


End file.
